Saturday, 28 March 2015

Why Krav Maga is so freaking awesome!!

Although most people will probably have no clue what Krav Maga is let alone why it is so freaking awesome. I  have therefore taken the liberty to cancel my otherwise important plans (watch Netflix all day) in order to explain to you why you should pick up the phone and join your nearest KMG club.
"Not KMG"
So now the question remains, What is KMG?
Well Krav Maga is a  self defence system that is devised for the Israeli military and has proved to be a huge success in  different military/security divisions world-wide. The success of KMG is mainly contributed to it's simplicity as it is based upon your own natural reactions.
 Previous to KMG, I practiced a number of different martial arts these include and are not limited to Kung Fu, Muay Thai, Brazilian Jujitsu in addition to some other ones that I practiced briefly. The reason why I stayed in KMG throughout these years is simply because it has proved to work for me, I will now explain to you the main difference between KMG and the other martial arts that I have practiced in terms of real world practicality.
"Probably not the best demonstration of Kung Fu but there is just something hilarious about a cat practicing tiger style"

I started my martial arts experience in the one and only Kung Fu, after growing up watching a number of Bruce lee movies, it was only natural really.  I spent my time practicing some awesome kicks and although initially you think that this will probably be an absolute killer with the ladies but for some reason they just weren't really into  my whole Jackie Chan persona. I guess randomly performing a spinning back kick really isn't that sexy.

"Watch out ladies here comes my bad-ass  kicking skills, Watchaaaaaaa (Literally sweeps you off your feet) !!!!"

Kung Fu was no doubt the coolest martial art to practice simply because you had the most amazing kicks, forms/Katas in addition to using a number of traditional weapons. But unfortunately Kung Fu fell horribly short in terms of just your classical self-defence. My Kung-Fu master would make me practice the coolest hand forms however unfortunately tiger style was just not really that effective against a robber with a knife let alone 2 or 3 robbers. Now give them guns and my Kung Fu would fly right of the window like all the villains that Bruce Lee side-kicked out. I decided that maybe I should move on to more functional martial arts, so I started Muay Thai.
"This is the modern day god of  Muay Thai Buakaw Banchamek, one of his fun time activities is to chop  trees down only using his shins ( Probably should consider a part-time career as a lumber jack) "
Muay Thai is the hardest form of martial arts out there (literally). A practitioner of this ancient martial art can sustain an incredible amount of pain and give an awful lot back. These guys will not only punch/kick you but they will also land devastating blows with their elbows and knees. They will beat you up so bad that you will suddenly start reminiscing about those high school wedgies, oh nostalgia. As complete as Muay Thai is, it does lack a practical self defence system. I can also imagine it would look quite bad on CCTV if the robber that attempted to steal your MacDonald's coupons would end up looking as if he was hit by a train because of your brutal low kicks.
"This burglar was actually on his way to becoming a male model previous to the incident, he was just having a bad MacDonald's craving."

Now unto another form of martial art and an incredible one at that. This one is dubbed as  the King of Cage, the one and only Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.

"In addition to producing stunning beauties (drools...Adriana Lima) Brazil also produces a devastating martial art by the name of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu"

BJJ is a ground based martial arts with roots in the deadly Japanese martial art Jiu Jitsu.  Thousands of practitioners have tapped out because of a foot lock, arm bar or triangle choke by a BJJ practitioner. Any successful UFC champion will tell you that a background in ground fighting is absolutely essential for success however is the octagon the same as your local pub?. A ground fighter can take any stand-up fighter out simply because any stand up fighter will be completely useless on the ground. Ground fighters therefore love to tackle other fighters down in order to easily force them into submission. Now take your local pub scenario, you are going out on a night out and a guy decided that it is in the  best of  his interest to punch you in the face because you just hooked up with the cute blonde that he has been eyeing up all night. You being a bad-ass ground fighter, tackle him down without any hesitation and go for that brutal triangle choke, you are then suddenly knocked out unconscious and wake up in the hospital the next day. You being so bad-ass happen to be absolutely shocked that you got defeated by some drunk hobo, that is until your friend tells you that whilst you were trying to get that triangle choke going , the other guy's best friend decided to simply you stomp you in the head, that is also when blondie decided to make a run for it. Ground fighting is suddenly not to so cool now is it?, well that is when KMG comes in.

"Train Krav Maga and maybe one day you will be join the cast of the Expendables ( Expendables 15 that is as Sylvester Stallone happens to be happily ageing backwards and still out-lifts me at 68 years of age)"


Krav Maga wastes no time on your funky Kung Fu forms  and has effective self defence maneuvers in addition to minimizing ground fighting ( this is to avoid those nasty head stomps ).
Krav Maga will teach you all you need, nothing more. These are all the basic punches,kicks, elbows, knees in order to turn you into an awesome brawler. KMG will then teach you all kinds of knife disarsms (ALL KINDS, seriously every knife you can think of, we probably have a disarm for it) in addition to long range weaponry disarms (pistols, AK-47s, M16s, sniper rifles, bazookas etc..).

Now to replay that pub scenario, a KMG practitioner would quickly disable the random drunk hobo that has been eyeing up his girl all night by striking at a number of weak points instantaneously and then quickly escaping from the fight scene. He would then end up going home with blondie( see Kate Upton ) instead of waking up the next morning looking like that burglar from before.

"Training KMG will grant you a better success rate going home with Kate Upton as being knocked unconscious will radically reduce your chances (Women love to talk on their dates and being an unconscious vegetable is just well unresponsive)"


I believe I have demonstrated the importance of training Krav Maga,  if you are still not convinced check out my video on the subject (see below) otherwise good luck getting with Kate Upton , note there are 3.5 billion men  world-wide also fiercely competing for her but hey now atleast you know Krav Maga.














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